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puddle jumping

Sunday, January 29, 2006

8:05PM - GOOD THINGS ARE HAPPENING, BABY

I haven't updated in forever...but...

I feel like im in a really good situation right now.

I have real friends. We do things for each other. We like each other. It's weird, and awesome.

Charles (chuck) is good. And i'm happy.

I can't wait till the birthday bash... it'll be SICK and this time lauren is coming which is awesome askljdalskjdlaksjdlaksdmn. I KNOW.

I can't wait to be graduated and i can't wait until spring break when we will go crazy again.

I feel like everytime we dont have school me and alison go out until 5 am and that's awesome for us.

I like most things today.

Current mood: cheerful

Sunday, December 25, 2005

9:53AM - Merry Christmas assholes.

Today i cried until i couldn't breathe anymore.

I just want to say that when people make fun of me... It hurts my feelings.
this is ridiculous, i know that you're kidding but it's almost to that point where you hear something so many times you start to believe it and i just feel like i can't do anything right anymore... and im starting to break.

It's christmas day and i ruined it for everyone. I'm depressed on christmas and everyone is just mad at me... because now they feel bad... and i guess i should've just kept my mouth shut.

My Uncle died this morning...and that sucks. It's christmas.


What made me even more upset was that my dad, the one who's usually just laughing at me felt sorry for me. And he was sad because he says " you have all the things a person your age should... and you should be happy. And i wish you were"

that just made me cry more.

Guys, the two of you who read this journal and care. Please take into consideration that i have feelings.

Current mood: you know

Saturday, December 10, 2005

12:50PM

I'm not back...just visiting.

Saturday, April 2, 2005

7:48AM - wow, so it's been a while.

Okay so since i last updated, LAST YEAR, some things have happened. I'll give you an overview of the important ones...
first, "gay" has come to nearly replace meat in the word craze

oh, which brings me to, "meat" has been recently stolen BY THE EINTIRE FUCKING WORLD, and most of you have never met alex's cat.

I attempted to begin the word cake, which failed miserably. I should have known better.

I crashed my car.

okay well, let me elaborate...i totalled my car on Hollow road when a few trees got in my way.

I got a new car...

which is actually the same car, but a different color.

zach died, and for those of you who knew him, i'm sorry.

great aunt alice got in a fight with my aunt... she stormed off easter morning and ran over the flowers. This may have been the most important thing.

went to see Vanessa Carlton "a la chance" with alex. Fucking amazing, and i didn't even really like her to begin with.

lastly, i joined crew...and yeah this is the 3rd Spring break of my life spent in Hyde Park. vomit.

I'm making costumes for the spanish play. Meat. I'm allowed, i've met the damn thing.

Current mood: exanimate

Monday, November 8, 2004

4:41PM

I haven't updated in an extremly long time. I must apologize though im sure you all haven't been waiting patiently for my entry. Still, i should have at least a hint of dedication to my journal. So, there are a few things that need discussing...

First, i must say, that singing jewel in the car with someone you love is boss. Knowing htat you don't need to talk, that it isnt awkward to belt out he meaningful lyrics at the top of your vioce makes me smile. Thank you for that. Another thing, those of you who support my addiction to coffee and my need to "visit Dave" at least 4 times weekly, you are indeed true friends. And lastly, I must thank Laurel for the best Monday of my life! Yes, that night was ridiculous.

On another topic, i need a tutor. Though i suffer in nearly all the topics i am enrolled in, English is particularly my worst subject. Following closely behind, American History has delvidered a thorough ass-whooping thus far. Please if anyone, ANYONE, understands American Studies, I am in desperate need of your help.

And my last topic....WHAT THE FUCK TO FDR AND THEIR AIR. WHY IS SCHOOL SO FUCKING DRAMATIC? eww. can we be done and just drop the fuck out already?

.im rocking the "fuck that shit" atiitude. <<

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I haven't updated in an extremly long time. I must apologize though im sure you all haven't been waiting patiently for my entry. Still, i should have at least a hint of dedication to my journal. So, there are a few things that need discussing...

First, i must say, that singing jewel in the car with someone you love is boss. Knowing htat you don't need to talk, that it isnt awkward to belt out he meaningful lyrics at the top of your vioce makes me smile. Thank you for that. Another thing, those of you who support my addiction to coffee and my need to "visit Dave" at least 4 times weekly, you are indeed true friends. And lastly, I must thank Laurel for the best Monday of my life! Yes, that night was <B> ridiculous</B>.

On another topic, i need a tutor. Though i suffer in nearly all the topics i am enrolled in, English is particularly my worst subject. Following closely behind, American History has delvidered a thorough ass-whooping thus far. Please if anyone, ANYONE, understands American Studies, I am in desperate need of your help.

And my last topic....WHAT THE FUCK TO FDR AND THEIR AIR. WHY IS SCHOOL SO FUCKING DRAMATIC? eww. can we be done and just drop the fuck out already?

.im rocking the "fuck that shit" atiitude. <<<this is particularly why i bother ryan.

bye <I> kids</I>

Current mood: your mom.

Friday, October 15, 2004

10:00PM

well i havent updated since i first saw napolean dynamite. I'm really fucking excited that Andy is going to be him at the prom. I can't wait until home coming. I'm at alix's. I love her. I plaigerized my essay and im probably going to get a fucking zero because i can't do my own homework. I 'm being forced to do my english project with potatoe...i am therefore garunteed a zero. That's mean...and she probably said the same thing anbout me. I'm going to the sheep festival. I'm really excited.
I've decided that fall is my favorite season. I love pumpkins and spices and shit and i especially love apple-picking. I need to get the shit scared out of me at a haunted house or something.(not literally Mrs.vancil).
Yes, alex yerks... .you do rule and you are in my info...for the third time.

Current mood: jube-ilant

Friday, August 27, 2004

3:47PM - ligers

My new layout is a liger, because it's pretty much my favorite animal.

What's your guys's favorite animal?

Current mood: artistic

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

11:34AM

So i bought tickets to see "Violet Avenue" at the mall yesterday. I'm not sure im even going. Eh oh well...its only 8 bucks. I ate oatmeal for like brunch or whatever and i feel like i ate absolutely nothing. I hate healthy food. It makes me feel so empty. People have no idea what they're talking about when they say you feel better when you eat right. i feel best after a quart of icecream and a bag of potatoe chips. Eh whatever. Mean while im really pissed off in case you couldn't tell. And like usual everyone dissmisses it because...well i guess because they can.

Saturday, August 14, 2004

4:22PM

We had a b-day party for Shanahan, and we all discovered that I suck in every way possible and i shouldnt bothering trying to do anything. Just kidding, i can try away i just shouldn't expect it to work. Haha.
Tonight im going shopping with my parents..mhm, ano.
I miss the gals...and i missed the cocktail party and al's party. Well thats okay next time! ; )
I'm donating all the clothes that dont fit, i dont wear, and i dont like. Then im going shopping to replace them all.
Well on friday i have a secret thing going on...kind of like a secret meeting. I'd disclose the facts but then it wouldnt be a scret. I might let you all know friday afternoon...we'll see.
Parallel parking kicks my ass everytime

Friday, August 13, 2004

4:29PM

hm....i feel ripped.
I like cake.
Well i really need to go shopping AND clean my room.
i hate when people hide their feelings... like pretend they're your friends but like dont actually share their feelings with you...um idk. Well i hope everyone's enjoying the last of summer. if not gimme a call and maybe i can help!!!!
peace mo fo's!!!!!

Current mood: okay

Thursday, August 12, 2004

2:01PM

well im that much closer.
To what you ask? Yeah im not sure.
Brooklyn's coming home. I think im excited. We didnt really end it well but maybe a good 4 years can mend a friendship. Let's hope. I miss her.
My new favorite thing to do is laugh... what really sucks is when i do it i sound like a donkey. Oh well your loss i spose (if your my friend).
Swim team starts the 23rd. Woohoo.
sera sera
<33

Current mood: giggly

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

7:07PM

Ehh we (kristen and i) have decided today that being curteous is a dieing virture. heh, oh well the world is dieing virtues, so to speak.
I love how in all pictures people post or expose to the world...im either cut out or like really deformed. I think God may be sparing the masses. Hm anyway, im not going to bother persuing friendships anymore. I've decided if people WANT to be my friend then they will. I dont have energy to make things work. Dont get me wrong, i love my friends i just need to feel appreciated, i guess. maybe that makes me selfish but there are worse things i could be.
Did you ever feel like some people are completly numb to the outside world? I want to open them up but im not quite sure how.
"You're so vein....I bet you think this post is about you, dont you, dont you..."

Current mood: crushed

Saturday, August 7, 2004

3:55PM

i went to north carolina it was fun and to write all about would take hours but for the most part it was good. The day after i got back i went to the Balsams with alix. The Resort was huge and really nice and i will post pictures asap. Don't you hate when one thing that happened or one thing that someone said to you can bother you for days at a time. yeah it sucks. Theres is absolutely nothing you can do to change it...what's done is done, yet it weighs heavily on my mind. I suppose "shit happens" and eventually i'll forget all about this.
Can i just say (of course i can) that i have been exceptionally clumsy lately. And no, this isnt normal. its not the usual polish shit i pull but worse, like im always falling over and often times im suddenly dizzy. Besides the bleeding in my esophagus i can only imagine what might be causing this idiocy. perhaps an iron deficiency.
Last night i say fame...directed and produced alison fasolino. David(Raymo) was as usual boomingly expressive(?) and nearly famous maggie stole the show. My only complaints lay with the friggin idiots who sat in front of us. All i have to say is...Why would you pay $13 to go to a show with intentions to mock it and its performers while distracting those who would have liked to experience it. "how rude".
Tomorrow im off to New Jersey for Warp-ed tour. I am what i imagine is excited.
I miss Kristen. a lot.
(P.S.....ummm where SHAK at?...holla back)

Current mood: enthralled

Saturday, July 24, 2004

5:12AM - its so early!

its too early, but we need to "beat the morning traffic". Ughhh im exhausted already.
Good News!!!-I've been accepted to hot_fashion.
My leg warmers came and im getting right along on the pair im knitting. Summer is exciting/half over!!!!!!!!!!
That's it. <3 to all while im basking in the sun and sipping pina coladas. (kinda)

Current mood: exhausted

Sunday, June 20, 2004

12:00PM - Yay!

Its sunny out! Thank God i was afraid it would be raining. I suppose i havent been as bad as i thought htis year. I feel awful because we didnt go to breakfast today and thats what my father had wanted. LAst nihgt dinner was good. Me ..krist and alix went to Torches on the Hudson and im in love with our waiter. Besides that im getting my permit tomorrow because the DMV isnt open on Sunday. Well whatever. I cant wait to go to the city...and 6 Flags and the Balsams. I still have 3 tests and i should study but eh we'll see.
All that matters is im 16.
and i bought new underwear!
<3333
post script...im getting a tatto this week.

Current mood: horny

Friday, June 18, 2004

10:44AM - OMG

can i just say that in 2 days THE WORLD IS ENDING. sucks right?

well Saturday i'm going to Torches. we'll see how that goes. Im going there because its my moms favorite place.

MY NEW SHOES WIL BE HERE ON WEDNESDAY.
-im excited can you tell?

last night i did alot of thinking and i even went to church until 12. Sometimes its good to go to church...even if you dont pray or like meditate. Its quiet in church and the candles provide a certain ambiance that just promotes tranquility. Church is a good place to think, especially in the middle of the night.

so while i was thinking... i came to the conclusion that i have the most wonderful friends in the world. They are all so different...and well often times extremly odd but definetly the best that anyone could ask for. This summer my goal is to appreciate the hell out of every single one of them. It'll be a good summer.
<333333

post script...ive watched bowling for columbine 6 times now...sorry, i promise ill return scott.<3333

Current mood: complacent

Thursday, June 17, 2004

6:20PM

so i took that global regents today and all in all i think i did rather well. Afterwards i came home and did nohting until now when i realized im going to be home alone all night. It's thundering. I've been kind of ...well dpressed these last couple of days. Everyone seems so happy and friendly except i dont know why. I', definetly not. Besides the fact that its pouring rain and i'm turining ten in a couple of days... life is just blah. I feel like people are mad at me but ... they just wont bother being angry. I kind of thought i was at least worth the anger but maybe not. I wish if people just didnt like me...they would stop pretending. Why waste energy pretending to be nice. Save yourself the trouble and be yourself, mean that is. On a lighter note i was on the way home...chowing down an a big mac of course when my mom had to "discuss something serious with me". She asked me if i was "making myself throw up". Its honestly laughable. Am i the only one in the world who doesnt think i have an eating disorder? maybe. I think she made it up. im going to stop trying to figure people out. Once i think ive got it all figured out, people just turn around and baffle me yet again. I think its better to make no assumptions. that way your never suprised...or disapointed. At least me and alix are going to the city( to buy awesome kelly green things) and to the Balsams(to smoke some other green things). Im happy to spend some time with her. I've been lost in a warped time zone lately. I hope the rest of my tests are easy as the global regents was because studying is not my forte. Im performing like 6 or 7 times this summer... let me know if your interested in paying to see the spectacle i call a performance. Sorry for the negativity but thats just the way i am. i think i might get covered in rain.
btw. rumors that have recently surfaced pretaining to the festivities last weekend at nate's residence are mostly wrong. Especially those involving me and lauren Z.
"Payce"-peace.

Current mood: numb

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

7:00PM

Have you..
x. Fallen for your best guy friend - ah no.
x. Made out with JUST a friend - regrettably yes.
x. Been rejected - a few too many times
x. Been in love – not quite
x. Used someone – probably
x. Been used - definetly...not quite sure what for
x. Cheated on someone - no...never really had the chance to
x. Been cheated on -i dont think so
x. Done something you regret – story of my life.

Who was the last person..
x. You touched – xander
x. You talked to – my granda
x. You hugged –
x. You instant messaged – brett
x. You yelled at – my mom
x. You laughed with - uncle joe.
x. You had a crush on – rhymes with goose.
x. Who broke your heart – alix.

Do you..
x. Color your hair – nope...brunett and proud
x. Have tattoos - cross on my foot.
x. Piercings - 5
x. Have a boyfriend/girlfriend/both –nah.
x. Floss daily - yes.
x. Own a webcam - no
x. Ever get off the damn computer – every now and then
x. Sprechen sie deutsche – sure.
x. Habla espanol – not quite fluently

Have u ((ever))...
x. Considered a life of crime – every other minute
x. Considered being a hooker- considered?
x. Considered being a pimp –only on the weekends
x. Are you psycho – they tell me so
x. Split personalities –maybe...ask my other half
x. Obsessive- im not the type.
x. Obsessive compulsive – no again.
x. Panic- holy yes.
x. Anxiety - oh god...
x. Depressed – only on my birthday
x. Suicidal - no!
x. Obsessed with hate - im obsessed with love. ; )
x. If you could be anywhere, where would you be - the outerbanks
x. What are you listening to – madonna...like a virgin
x. Can you do anything freakish with your body –define freakish.
x. Do you have a favorite animal- hippo.
x. Current Clothes – none.
x. Current Mood - depressed... its my birthday...kinda
x. Current Music –madonna...
x. What are you listening to – madonna...
x. Current Taste – orbit.
x. Current Hair - curly.
x. Current Annoyance – this thing.
x. Current Smell – quesadillas.-its taco night
x. Current thing I ought to be doing – studying
x. Current Desktop Picture – blocks or something
x. current Favorite Group – the hollies
x. Current Book – insatiable
x. Current DVD In Player - bowling for columbine
x. Current Refreshment – diet coke
x. Current Worry – ull... just one?
x. Current Crush – yeah okay.
x. Current Favorite Celebrity – charlie manson

Favorite..
x. Drink – green tea
x. Color – black.
x. Shoes – flip flops
x. Candy - chocolate?
x. Animal- hippo?
x. TV Show – the golden girls.
x. Movie – the princess bride.
x. Dance – the mashed potatoe.
Are you...
x. Understanding – I like to think so.x. Open-minded – yup
x. Insecure- god yes.
x. Interesting –probably not.
x. Hungry - 24/7
x. Friendly – of course.
x. Smart- i hope so.
x. Moody - horribly
x. Childish -uncontrolably
x. Independent – very.
x. Hard working – if ive had a coffee
x. Organized – usually
x. Healthy – no.
x. Emotionally Stable - def. not.
x. Shy – um...no.
x. Difficult- always
x. Bored Easily - yes.
x. Thirsty - no?
x. Responsible - yeah.
x. Sad- occasionally
x. Happy - most of the time.
x. Trusting - at first.
x. Talkative – uh huh.
x. Unique- not really, no.

Who do you want to..
x. Kill – Susan
x. Slap - everyone.
x. Be like – ghandi... or maybe bill gates.

On you..
x. Name - alicia
x. Nicknames – aleesh...peeg
x. Hair color - brown
x. Birthday – june 20
x. Eye Color – hazel
x. Siblings- brother(older)
x. How do you describe yourself- negatively
x. What's your sign - gemini
x. Do you have a Boyfriend/Girlfriend - a few.

On friends..
x. Friend(s) you go to for advice – probably not
x. Friend(s) you have the most fun with – any of them.
x. Friend(s) you've dreamt about – um...
x. Friend(s) you tell secrets to – secrets...i dont have secrets...

What's your favorite..
x. Number - 239482093482093842342
x. Holiday - thanksgiving
x. Radio station - i ahet the radio
x. Place – the car.
x. Flower – any kind...as long as they're for me.
x. Scent - Ralph( the perfume)

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

6:36PM - hmph.

Just tell me what you've got to say to me,
I've been waiting for so long to hear the truth,
It comes as no surprise at all you see,
So cut the crap and tell me that we're through.

Now I know your heart, I know your mind,
You don't even know you're being unkind,
So much for all your high brow Marxist ways,
Just use me up and then you walk away.
Boy, you can't play me that way.

Well I guess what you say is true,
I could never be the right kind of girl for you,
I could never be your woman.

Current mood: quixotic

Sunday, May 9, 2004

6:25PM

2 weekends left. mhm...ano. As soon as the crew season is over im getting a tattoo,eep. Im kinda excited but we'll see how it goes. I feel like im dead or something. Me and alix pampered ourselves today...we got pedicures and stuff. Good thing it's mothers day and we completly neglected our duties as daughters and hungout anyway. Well whatever. i just cant wait until this year is over. Good thing i haven't been to a party since February. Thats all<3 aleesh

Current mood: lazzzzzzy

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